Roger Moore, Peace, Rest In

Rest in peace, Roger Moore.

The sad part of modern life is we mourn the loss of celebrities, but we really don’t know them as people. We only know them as their character. Carrie Fisher is Princess Leia. Leonard Nimoy is Spock. Robin Williams is . . . everything.Unknown

It is not disrespectful, therefore, to remember the passing of a beloved icon with a tip of the hat to the work they did. As such, I am certain family and friends of Roger Moore will mourn him the way I hope to be mourned when my time comes. But I, I will mourn him by remembering him as Bond. James Bond.

Moore’s Bond was different than Sean Connery’s. Connery was tough first, slick second. Connery and Daniel Craig play Bond more like Fleming wrote him. Moore reinvented the character as a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who enjoyed wisecracks and managed to do his job as a side-effect of his good time. He fit the 1970s, and his Bond was goofier, but far more playful. His bond was more sexual, carefree, and smiled. Moore wore the tuxedo better, but looked out of place in a fist fight. He could sell a scene with his eyes, and in so doing invite the audience in on a little escapism.

On that note, here are his turns as Bond from best to worst, in my personal opinion.

  1. Live and Let Die–His first movie was his best. Trains. Sharks. Crocodile farms. Exploding people. New York City. Jane Seymour.  An espresso machine. Paul McCartney. Perfect.
  2. The Spy Who Loved Me–The underwater car was brilliant. The submarine scenes were a little forced, but who cares.
  3. The Man With The Golden Gun–The film drags a little, but fun none the less. Moore is over-the-top Bond in this one.
  4. A View To A Kill–Horrible movie, but loads of fun. Moore was too old to play Bond at this point, but Christopher Walken as the bad guy was inspired. Let’s just forget about the Beach Boys in the opening escapade, but the Duran Duran theme song more than makes up for that. High Duran Duran coolness factor. (Click Here for more Duran Duran)
  5. Moonraker–The Bond book by this same name is one of my favorites. The movie was cheesy and beyond bad, however Moore makes it so much fun with his witty banter and the fun in Rio.
  6. For Your Eyes Only–Honestly, Moore feels a little stale in this film. Only the scenery of Greece saves it from complete and total failure. The plot is intricate, but all the actors are beyond bad.
  7. Octopussy–I hate this movie. The Tarzan yell is inexplicable. The Fleming short story by the same title is fascinating and spectacular. This movie is a terrible mashup of several Fleming plots and none of them work. But Roger Moore gambling and making his getaway through the streets of India is enjoyable and reminds us of why even as the worst, of the Moore films, it is still a good evening.

QUESTIONS ABOUT APPLE VS FBI

I am not a legal expert. I am not a tech expert. Pluapple-vs-fbi-4th-amendments, the ‘facts’ of Apple versus the FBI keep changing ever few hours. That given, I have some questions.

  1. I get the fact about liberty–I value highly individual liberty–but when a court orders it, doesn’t that mean due process has taken place?
  2. People might be over-reacting to Apple’s refusal. Isn’t it possible they are appealing in order to take this all the way up the chain of appeals to get a final answer.
  3. Why is this public? I always assumed that covert operations were supposed to be, well, covert.
  4. On the same topic, why does our FBI and Homeland Security not have the kind of resources to take care of this in-house? Don’t most of you assume that the FBI should have people who can hack an iPhone?
  5. Again, related still, did the FBI think to ask a sixteen-year-old girl? I bet she can figure it out.
  6. What do you think Steve Jobs would do? I just watched the Steve Jobs movie (not a very good movie, but an interesting look at Jobs) and I think he would drive up right to the White House and demand to talk to President Obama about this. Second thought, he would have POTUS come to him.
  7. Who is picking this fight–the U.S. Government or Tim Cook?
  8. How do you think this would play out in the media if a Republican were president right now? Yeah, I thought so too.
  9. Does it bother anyone else that ISIS terrorists find the sleek design and friendly user interface of Apple products as irresistible as I do? What does that say about me?
  10. Couldn’t we solve this just by calling James Bond and having Q work on it? But which Q?

 

 

images from memory-alpha.wikia.com, smithsonianmag.com, telegraph.co.uk, and photographyisnotacrime.com

LUKE SKWALKER VERSUS SPOCK

Its ridiculous.

I know that, so don’t point it out and indulge me.

I was wearing one of my favorite Christmas presents this week, which is a black t-shirt with LLAP on it. Of course, LLAP is short for the Vulcan greeting and salutation, “Live long and prosper.”

Somehow in the course of the day, I began to think about who I would rather have in a pinch–a Jedi or Spock?

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In my honest opinion, Luke Skywalker is the greatest of the Jedi because he defeated Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, and only had about forty five minutes of training from Yoda to learn everything. There might be other, greater Vulcans than Spock, but he is the one I know the most about, and he is the only Vulcan who has the coolness factor.

Just to clarify, when I say Spock, I mean Leonard Nimoy as Spock.

So, Luke Skywalker and Spock are in a pitched battle against each other for survival. Who do you got?

I got Spock. I think if they were at odds with each other, Spock would win nine times out of ten. Here is why.

  1. Jedi are stupid. Their abilities make them intellectually lazy. That is the only explanation I have for why they didn’t spot Palpaltine as Sith, or why Yoda and Kenobi didn’t both go after Palpatine together, then Vader.  Why divide up like that? Oh, I know, stupid.
  2. It might take time, but Spock would invent some kind of device that would neutralize Skywalker’s lightsaber.
  3. Do you think Jedi mind tricks would work on Spock. Of course not.
  4. Vulcans have their own paranormal mumbo jumbo going for them, which would offset some of Luke’s Jedi powers. Spock did one time mind meld with a brick, remember?
  5. In a world with Jedi, Spock would have a blood sample with midi-chlorians, find a way to kill them, and thus end Skywalker’s powers. He could defeat Skywalker without having to kill him.
  6. Spock would dodge one slash of the lightsaber, then put a Vulcan nerve pinch on Luke. Game. Set. Match.

I’m sure I missed something, but I think Spock would make quick work of the Jedi master. Now, give me some time to think about James Bond versus Harry Potter.

MY TOP FIVE JAMES BOND MOVIES

I got my Spectre tickets yesterday.  I would have bought them in May if I could have.  Oh yeah, I’m a big fan.  I like the literary Bond better than the film Bond, and Daniel Craig probably plays him more like Fleming wrote him.  I don’t know if this movie will be any good, but it looks good, and Christoph Waltz looks perfectly Blofeld-like (even though the IMBD lists his character as Oberhauser, it has to be Blofeld, right?)   I have high hopes, which is probably a mistake, yet all three of the earlier Daniel Craig Bond reboots have been outstanding.

So, in celebration, here are my top five Bond films, in order.

  • Casino Royale–a brilliant treatment of the book that defined the spy genre.
  • On Her Majesty’s Secret Service–the book was probably the best of the Bond books, and Lazenby was lackluster as Bond, but Telly Savalas and Diana Rigg make up for it, in my opinion because they were both fantastic.
  • Goldeneye–Pierce Brosnan’s first Bond appearance, and he was an outstanding Bond, but who could forget him chasing the bad guy in that Russian tank?

    How cool is that?
    How cool is that?
  • Goldfinger–Here’s a toast to Operation Grand Slam.
  • From Russia With Love–Everything you could ever want in a great spy movie, and The Orient Express.

Honorable Mentions:  Quantum of Solace, The Living Daylights, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Diamonds Are Forever.

image from http://www.thatmomentin.com