Ooooh Jedi

Can I go ahead now and buy my ticket(s) for Star Wars VIII? It is set to premier 15 December 2017.

But that is not the important part, at least not now. The important part is the subtitle: The Last Jedi.sw-the-last-jedi-tall-b

Not much to speculate about yet . . . or is there?

‘The Last Jedi’ most definitely refers to Luke at some level. It is taken from what Yoda told Luke, “When gone am I, the last of the Jedi you will be” but it doesn’t have to be just Luke. Seriously, there are several options to consider.

  1. Jedi is a plural word as well as singular. Perhaps the films thrust will be the the the last Jedi who have been in hiding somewhere that come out and defeat the baddies.
  2. Last might refer to the end of the fighting order of Jedi, and the beginning of something new. Luke had failed in trying to rebuild the Jedi, and has now discovered that the Jedi need to go away in favor of something else, because apparently Jedi always take the galaxy, one way or another, into war.
  3. Rey is a good candidate for the Next Something New who learns from the last Jedi. I have already speculated that in this film Luke buys the farm. My original understanding was, after seeing Han Solo die, that in order Luke would die, then Leia. I still think that might be the order. I promise you when there is a Leia death scene, I will be bawling my eyes out like I do ever time Spock saves the Enterprise in The Wrath of Khan. They all die, and Rey is left as the last one. Then maybe her and Finn get together and have lots of little Jedi.
  4. It might be a return of Obi Wan Kenobi. They’ve been setting us up with these force ghosts things for a bit–all the way back to the original. Remember–“If you strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Kenobi is the ‘first’ Jedi we ever meet in this universe, and maybe he is also the ‘last’ we ever meet as well. His ghost comforts Luke after Yoda dies, and then that is it. Remember kiddos, Ewan McGregor’s voice as Obi Wan is in The Force Awakens. Oh, and so is Alec Guinness. It would be so awesome to somehow see Mark Hamill and Ewan McGregor in a scene together–maybe fighting together. Can I buy my ticket now, please?
  5. There must be an explanation of why Luke left the known galaxy. It is perhaps, Kylo Ren killed Luke’s best student, the last remaining Jedi of his academy. And perhaps, that last Jedi was none other than Kylo’s twin sister, AKA Jaina. I’m still trying to get Jaina Solo in this movie, because she was my fave from the EU.
  6. Be prepared for doubling meanings. Return Of The Jedi featured the graduation of Luke Skywalker as a Jedi because he faced Vader and did what Obi Wan and Yoda couldn’t do. He defeated both the Sith Lords. “I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” But it was not just his return, it was also the return, the redemption, of Anakin Skywalker as a Jedi. Having seen the prequels as we have, when Luke is on the ground writhing in pain from the Emperor’s force storm, Vader probably sees Padme’s face and hears Obi Wan’s words. He can smell the surprise in Mace Windu. He understands Count Dooku’s dilemna. He returns as a Jedi. But also, the ‘religion’ if you want to call it that, returns as well. Now they are back. Expect multiple meanings.
  7. We need to prepare ourselves for a possibility that this film, this entire film, might be a flashback kind of movie that is all about Luke and Kylo with no Leia, No Rey, No Chewie nothing but Jedi and Sith machinations. In this possibility, the last Jedi might well be the story of how all the Jedi died.

See, this is what happens when you give a nerd something to think about. I mean, if I am this bad over three words–The Last Jedi, imagine what I might do if they dropped a trailer on us.

ROGUE ONE (SPOILERS)

If you haven’t seen Rogue One, stop reading now. You can come back to this post after you’ve seen the movie.

Seriously, don’t go any further unless you want to see things and know things you really shouldn’t yet.

STOP READING:  THERE BE SPOILERS HERE!

 

SPOILERS–DANGER–PULL UP

 

SERIOUSLY

 

Okay, since you’re still with me, I assume you’ve seen the movie.

 

Three Things To Love

Thing One: Darth Vader is perfect in this film. His cryogenic/frozen bacta chamber is splendid. His choking pun is laugh-out-loud. Then, a the end, we finally see Darth Vader as Darth Vader doing Darth Vader Sith Lord stuff. The clinched fist while in battle was just simply marvelous.

Get that Droid a Blaster. And A Therapist.
Get that Droid a Blaster. And A Therapist.

Thing Two: The droid K-2SO was perhaps the best new character in the franchise. His passive-aggressive, cynical, sarcastic tone reminded me of Alan Richman’s turn as Marvin from A Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy. I didn’t really care if any of the humans survived, but his death was tragic.

Thing Three: I loved the battle scenes. The Mon Calamari cruisers in action against Star Destroyers was breathtaking. It was the kind of space combat we missed in The Force Awakens.

 

Some Random Things to Sorta Like

I sorta liked Jyn. She is no Rey, that is for sure. Her story–abandoned girl motif–felt like a rip off of the Rey story–or perhaps a hybrid mix of the Rey story and the Luke story.

I sorta liked the portrayal of the Empire as a military state. The IED ambush of the Empire’s squadron through the streets of Jedha City could have been set in Kabul.

I sorta liked the explanation of the weakness in the Death Star’s design. Sorta.

I sorta liked the use of Rogue One as the launch of Rogue Squadron, but, if I may, Rogue Squadron would have found a way to get off the planet mostly alive.

 

Two Things I Hated

I hated the CGI Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia. They did a much better job on Moff Tarkin, but botched Leia completely. It wasn’t so much the effort as it was the choices. Her face is smiling, happy, and hopeful. That is not Princess Leia from  the original Star Wars film. That Leia was furrow browed, scornful, sarcastic, and realistic. Plus, in the scene, they are barely escaping (indeed, they don’t escape because of ANH beginning, duh) so why she is so optimistic and smiley is troubling.

I hated the Death Star being used to blow up cities. That is not what the Death Star was built for. It was built for blowing up planets, and the understood original use of the Death Star was Alderaan. Star Destroyers can take out a city–that is what they were built for–orbital bombardment. Using the Death Star to blow up a city is like using Dirty Harry’s .44 Magnum to kill a fly. Sure, it could do it, but it is just a little overkill.

The film is good popcorn fun, and it is very enjoyable. However, it has a significance in the Star Wars Universe somewhere between The Clone Wars cartoon and The Phantom Menace.

A BETTER VOTING CHOICE

9c28a3556e27bb30f5ccbbc48223063c1On November 8 most Americans will hold their nose and vote for someone they really don’t like all that much. Many Republicans are experiencing a form of buyers remorse with Mr. Trump and Democrats really felt the Bern over the summer but the deck was stacked against them. So, what to do?

Mrs. Greenbean and I are seriously considering if we should write someone in–if nothing else so we can sleep at night with a clear conscience. For a fleeting moment I thought about writing in Captain Kirk. Kim thought about Dumbledore for President. That got me to thinking. If I were voting, which make believe ticket would I choose? I came up with four for you to choose from, since there are four on the ballot, if we include the Libertarians and Greens.

Dumbledore/Snadesign-692-2013-06-25-06-45-551pe–The problem with these two is citizenship but being wizards and all, they should be able to take care of that with a flick of the wand.  I suspect a Dumbledore/Snape administration would be able to fix the national debt, but it would also introduce unknown variables, like, You Know Who.

Palpatine/Vader–From the Star Wars universe it is tempting to put forth a Skywalker/Solo ticket, but my impression is that the Jedi, for all their heroism, are not all that bright or perceptive. Han Solo would never be able to get away from the corruption of the smugglers. Besides, the Emperor and Darth Vader have a lot of experience at governance. This is your, “Law and Order” ticket.

Picard/Riker–I know, I know, I thought about it long and hard, but Captain Kirk would make a terrible POTUS. Picard is a diplomat. What I would really like is a Picard/Spock ticket. That would truly be The Best Of Both Worlds. A Picard/Riker ticket would create jobs and end corruption. The downside is Riker would blow up the ship.555021_11

Frodo/Sam–There are a lot of options from the LOTR universe, but I don’t think Gandalf is reliable enough to stick around–he up and disappears as he pleases–and Aragorn, though he has a great lineage doesn’t really have what it takes to fix our problems. We can make him Secretary of Defense, perhaps. A Baggins/Gamgee ticket would guarantee that the pubs are always open and that the potatoes are always cooked.untitled

So, who would you vote for? Vote below–and check back often to see who is winning.

MARS, CANDY, AND DARTH VADER

I am so far behind–digitally that is–because of Christmassssssy stuff.  I have neglected my Twitter, Facebook, and blog far too much.  Sadly, it will likely not get much better until after the new year.  However, today I share three interesting things.

Thing One–Mars

Houston, we have a belch
Houston, we have a belch

Yesterday it was reported that scientists discovered methane on Mars using the rover Curiosity.  Methane is flatulence.  Today it is reported that the same rover also drilled a hole in the ground and found ancient water.  This water is reported to be heavier than earth water.  Heavy water–wouldn’t that be one way of describing beer?  Great–we find life on Mars and it turns out that it is a smelly bar!

In all seriousness, these are both very exciting finds that may prove life exists or existed on Mars.  For my regular readers, you’ll remember I predicted we would discover life on Mars this year.  What I didn’t know is that we would find a drunk old man asking the rover to ‘pull my finger.’

Thing Two–Mom, Why does this candy taste funny?

This morning while eating my oatmeal and biscuit I read what might be the strangest sentence I’ve read in a newspaper (Austin American-Statesman) in a while.  Here it is:

New York real estate heir Robert Durst has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief for exposing himself and urinating on candy at a Houston drug store.

Apparently he didn’t think much of the warheads, so he gave them his own nuclear option, huh?  I suppose it is the store’s fault for not putting up a sign that says “DO NOT WET CANDY.”  Weird, huh.  Apparently this guy is the son of a the man who invented the National Debt Clock.  You want it weirder?  The article went on to say that this son was acquitted of homicide charges ten years ago in Galveston.  Apparently he killed his neighbor, but he didn’t just kill him.  According to the article, he dismembered him.  He said it was self defense.

How did he get off?  Really?  I can see shooting someone, stabbing someone, throwing someone down hard in self defense.  What I can’t see is how do you dismember someone in self defense?  Truth is stranger than fiction.

Thing Three–Darth Vader versus Elf on the Shelf

A friend sent this to me.  I’m still laughing.

Where is your rebel elf base?
Where is your rebel elf base?