Universal Truths

Our youngest sprout spoke to me yesterday about a project for high school she is working on. Her task is to write an essay about a specific universal truth. I didn’t tell her this, but I am glad, at least, that the school is affirming such a thing as universal truths.

She was struggling with which one to pick. I tried to get her to write about death as a universal truth. She told me that was too negative. She’s probably right.

In typical Greenbean fashion, I shot off about seven or eight quick universal truths that I think are worthy of her time and thought.

  1. No matter which line you pick at the grocery store or bank, it will be the slowest one.
  2. If you love a restaurant, and brag about how great it is to your friends, the one time you take them there will be the worst experience ever.
  3. The book is always better than the movie. Always.
  4. Whenever a preacher says, “Let me conclude . . . ” or something to that effect you can bet he or she is nowhere near the end. She is just getting her second wind.
  5. If you wash your car, it will rain.
  6. Ten minutes is the shortest amount of time between when the nurse puts you in the little room and the doctor actually comes to see you. This is true even if no other patients are in the building.
  7. A watched kettle never boils.
  8. If the dog gets sick or has an accident, it will be on the carpet. It will not be on the 93% of your floor that is tile or hardwood.shapiro-most-famous-dog-on-instagram-1200x630-1448389260

In the end she rejected these. I don’t know why? She decided to go with something all serious like, “human beings need companionship” or “everyone is prejudice about something.” I guess she wanted to get an A on her paper.

I’ve turned comments on for this post–in case any of you wanted to share some universal truths form your experience.

6 responses to “Universal Truths”

  1. I love these! I would add, as a newer parent, that as soon as your baby/toddler senses a date night, your normally asleep by 7:30 child will be awake until 9, minimum

  2. Admittedly what I am writing in the next line does not make sense because I am contradicting myself but

    The only Universal Truth is that there is none!

  3. The chance of the bread falling with the peanut butter-and-jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

  4. There are three kind of lies in this ole world:
    1) lies
    2) darned lies
    3) statistics

    I don’t know if this is universal truth. But it seems to apply everywhere I know of.

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