DO YOU THINK JJ ABRAMS WILL DESTROY STAR WARS TOO?

Darth Vader already blew up Alderaan, so JJ Abrams will not be able to blow up Vulcan in the upcoming Star Wars films.

At least, I hope not.  If he destroys Kashyyyk, there will be a lot of angry Wookies after him, and I’m telling you, Wookies hold a grudge much longer and harder than the pacifist Vulcans.

I was not a big fan of the JJ Abram’s Star Trek reboot.  Yeah, the 2009 film was fun, but it made so many radical changes to the accepted story lines that it felt more like Abram’s was playing with the action figures of Kirk and Spock that Roddenberry left on the living room floor.  Don’t even get me started on Star Trek Into Darkness.  Ugh…….

What I’m thinking about, though, is what will Abrams do to Star Wars.  It seems there are three options.

1.  A complete reboot, like the Star Trek film, and find someway to recreate Luke, Leia, Vader, Han etc…  I don’t think he will do this because that is exactly what he did with Star Trek.  But if he does . . . will Obi Wan Kenobi still be a liar?

2  Play with the characters–but totally ignore all the written literature and just set it 30 years after Return of the Jedi with a fresh new script.  If you do this, Abrams, you will really make a lot of fans angry.  Starting with me.

3.  Use the written literature’s characters and their personalities to launch into something really new and dramatic, but that doesn’t undo everything we already love about the Star Wars Universe. 

My personal preference is to dwell on the Solo children:  Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin.  I’ve already begun to cast it, actually.  Jaina must be played by Jennifer Lawrence.  She could so easily channel the dark side like we all know Jaina has going on.  But for the love of all that is good and decent, please keep Shia Labeouf away from this film project.  But wouldn’t Famke Janssen make a great Mara Jade?  I mean, its only natural for Janseen to be in Star Wars, she’s already got James Bond, X-Men, and Star Trek (TNG) under her belt.

As you can tell from this fake poster from Entertainment Weekly, I’m not the only one thinking about it.

I'd Buy A Ticket to See This
I’d Buy A Ticket to See This

If they go with with the Solo children, then the big question is–when?  When do they pick up the story.  A natural thought is the Yuuzhan Vong invasion chronicled in the excellent New Jedi Order series.  The problem with that, though, is the story is already written.  We know how it ends.  RIP Anakin and Chewie.

So, my suspicion is that they will go the Solo Children route, but the prologue to start will be “Rebuilding after the devastation of the New Republic, The Skywalker and Solo families face a great challenge from within their own family …” and then we learn about the new trouble that has arisen as Jaina does what we know she wants to do–become Sith.  I think that story has juice because the Republic is broken so it has the elements of dystopia we all loved in the original Star Wars but the younger set to work with.  They are trying to rebuild something they never experienced, because they became adults in a time of war much like Luke, who grew up in an oppressed society but fought for freedom.  It also carries that old “sins of the father” motif we know Lucas loves dearly.

Yeah. Abrams, I’m waiting for that phone call when you invite me to come help you write that script because I really want to keep from from repeating that dreadful Khan debacle from this summer.  Call me.

STAR TREK INTO HALF-LIGHT

I, along with about a billion people I think, are pretty excited about the release this weekend of Star Trek Into Darkness.  The trouble is I will not be able to see it until Tuesday, probably, because my weekend is slammed full of stuff (UPDATE AND CORRECTION–LOOKS LIKE I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE IT THURSDAY)  What that means is nobody can tell me anything ahead of time–NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!!  After I have seen the film, I will post a review, but will warn of spoilers.  I don’t like them.

j-j-abrams-discusses-star-trek-into-darkness-villain-124454
ENERGIZE!

Yes, I do not want anything to ruin my experience.  As a part of the experience, though, I am trying to imagine what this story will involve–what is the darkness?

As I prognosticate, here is what we know:

1.  The Enterprise crashes into the ocean.

2.  Dr. Carol Marcus is in the movie.

3.  There is a well defined villain played by the excellent Benedict Cumberbatch (loved him in Sherlock).

4.  There is a scene in a room full of what looks like coffins, or are they cryogenic chambers?

5.  The plot seems to revolve around some kind of terrorism.

So these are the things we know, which is not much, but it is a start.  From these building block nuggets, let me make some predictions as to what will be in the movie.  Keep in mind,  I stink at making predictions but that doesn’t keep me from making them.

1.  The crash of the Enterprise can’t be real or serious.  It must be easily fixed, like, the ship just jumps out of the water after the engines kick back in.  The reason for this assumption is that destroying the Enterprise is a big deal and it would never be put in the previews.  Too much tension is released if the audience already knows it is going to be destroyed.

2.  Dr. Marcus and Kirk will pair up as a love interest.  I suspect that the Cumberbatch villain is a rival flame vying for Dr. Marcus’ attention.

3.  The terrorism will be bio/genetic.  The film will carry a similar plot of Star Trek II where Khan is the villain with an old association of Kirk’s and he uses a weapon of mass destruction.  Now, the plot will not duplicate the Khan plot, but will be familiar enough to feel borrowed and might even steal a line or two, (He tasks me?)

4.  Someone must die.  It cannot be Kirk and it cannot be Spock.  Dr. Marcus?  No, she has to have Kirk’s son David.  No, who can die?  Well, who could it be but Uhura?  JJ Abrams loves to torture Spock, this would only increase the torture.  Everyone is expecting Spock to die in this film, as homage to the aforementioned Khan film, but instead here he will have to make a choice to save the crew or save Uhura.  In this timeline, he saves the crew but kills Uhura.

5.  Klingons.  Somehow we need to see Klingons.  Lots of them.

Okay, so those are the predictions, but I also have some worries.  First, it has been terribly over-hyped.  Usually that doesn’t bode well.  Second, the trailers I’ve seen remind me of Nemesis and that is not a good thing.  Third, I am afraid they will steal too much from previous films.  I know that everyone loved the rebooted Star Trek (2009) but to those of us in the know, who look closely, we can spot that Abrams, aside from recklessly destroying Vulcan, really did nothing new but rehashed old ideas with nice camera angels.  I am afraid he will do the same again.  Fourth, I am afraid I might have to see it three or four times, just to make sure.