Celebrity Voices On Your GPS

This morning Twitter was asking a fun question that I have several thoughts about. The question was which celebrity would you like voicing your GPS? The standard answers, as you might imagine, were Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones, and Sam Elliot. I admit those are all very, very awesome choices. Someone put this meme out there, which was very clever.

Impressive. Most impressive. Driver’s Ed has taught you well.

Someone else suggested Christopher Walken. I’m not certain that would be a good idea, but I can see the interesting aspect of it.

It was fascinating that very few female voices were mentioned. That tells me women were probably driving the discussion. I know Mrs. Greenbean could listen to Morgan Freeman read the periodic table of elements and be intrigued. Here is a list of folks I think would be great as the GPS or the Siri voice. I’ll start with the women and then add a couple of men I think would be cool.

Sigourney Weaver — I’ve heard her narrate some nature programs and her voice is the most pleasant combination of all my elementary school teachers rolled into one. ‘Turn left, Jamie. You can do this.’

Majel Barrett — She is iconic Star Trek. She played the original Number One in the Star Trek Pilot, Nurse Chapel in TOS, Lwaxana Troi in TNG, and was the ship’s computer for pretty much all the vessels until 2009. It is her voice as the NCC 1701-D (Picard’s Enterprise) that I have in mind. ‘Warning: intersection collision imminent.’

Judi Dench — My Siri is already set to British female, but having Dench’s bossy and sarcastic tone would really improve my driving skills. ‘The turn was back there, Jamie. Now you you’ve the joy of turning around. Again.’

Oprah Winfrey — Her voice is clear and distinct with near perfect diction. But, can you imagine her as the GPS? ‘You’re speeding again. How do you feel about that? Who hurt you, Jamie? No amount of hurrying up will make up for the pain from Junior High.’

Edward James Olmos — I know that I am showing my sci-fi bias, but having Commander Adam as your GPS voice? I mean, you’d always be on course for Earth, at least. While I’m on this thought, Lorne Greene would have been a great GPS voice, too.

Samuel L. Jackson — I’m thinking Pulp Fiction Jackson here, where for every turn you make, he goes into a long exposition of an obscure Old Testament verse. And for those who need it, there is strong language to encourage you to drive the right direction.

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