THE SUPER BOWL SHOULD HAVE A NICKNAME

Super Bowl 2015Super Bowls need nicknames, because the number attached just isn’t memorable enough.  I had a great amount of fun last year making fun of Seattle versus Denver with my suggestions.  This year is even better.  Here are some possible nicknames.

1.  The Chowder Bowl I didn’t learn to love clam chowder until I moved to the northwest in 1999.  Before that, I had never tasted chowder, and boy was I missing out.  Even as I set here and write, I think that clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl would be just about perfect. Of course, Boston is famous for its ‘chowda’ too so, there you go!  Finally we’d have a real “Souper-Bowl”, but we’d have to find a bread bowl big enough to play it in.

2.  The Ball Bowl Most all the world is aware that the Patriots have been cheating by deflating the balls, and it has created such a controversy that it has its own nickname, ‘Deflategate.’  I don’t want this to be called the Deflatebowl.  However, given Tom Brady’s ball problems combined with Marshawn Lynch’s famous (and crass) crotch grab when he scores touchdowns, I see no reason not to call it The Ball Bowl.

Not deflated
Not deflated

3.  Portland Bowl Both Boston and Seattle are a short drive away (2-3 hrs) from a city named Portland.

4.  Mirror, Mirror Bowl The Patriots are known for their offensive prowess, led by male model Tom Brady.  Seattle, on the other hand, is known for its smothering defense, personified by Richard Sherman.  The two teams are, in many ways, exact opposites of each other.  It is as if they were from two similar, but different worlds, like the Mirror Universe in Star Trek.

Evil Belichick
Evil Belichick
Really Evil Belichick
Really Evil Belichick

5.  Ex-lax Bowl This might be my favorite.  This is Super Bowl XLIX, or as most of us would write, Super Bowl 49.  But the Roman numerals are so close to the name of that disgusting chocolate laxative that it must be considered. Ex-Lax-Stimulant-Laxative-Regular-Strength-Chocolate-300670005481

6.  500 Bowl Early in the season both the Patriots (2-2) and the Seahawks (3-3) were considered ‘done’ by many people who make a living speculating about football.  Both teams rallied from their .500 record and became the number one seed in their conference.

I’d love to hear if you have any other ideas, because I just made these up in the past five minutes, so I bet you could come up with some good ones.

images from pixshark.com, cbssports.com, vitacost.com, and biography.com

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