So #fivewordstoruinadate is trending on the Twitterverse.  I’ve seen a couple come through my timeline and the funniest so far is “I’ve never watched Star Trek?”  That would certainly be a game changer.  Now, since I’ve been happily married to Mrs. Greenbean before the invention of the wheel, I don’t have much experience with dating anymore.  That’s a good thing.

I did, however, come up with a couple of zingers–although I didn’t tweet them because as an old married man who doesn’t date I think it would be creepy.  But here are mine.

Doctor says its a fungus #fivewordstoruinadate

Gotta ask the probation officer #fivewordstoruinadate

Okay, I said it had been awhile since I’ve dated.  However, one thing I do know a lot about is preaching.  In many ways preaching can be like being on a date–every word is closely scrutinized and can be understood differently by the hearer than what the speaker intended.  So, here are some five words to ruin a sermon.

1.  Now for my fifth conclusion #fivewordstoruinasermon

2.  I heard it on FOXnews #fivewordstoruinasermon

3.  Todays sermon will run long #fivewordstoruinasermon

4.  Stop thinking and just listen #fivewordstoruinasermon

5.  We don’t need no hermeneutics #fivewordstoruinasermon

6.  Its all Greek to me #fivewordstoruinasermon

7.  Jesus told me you should #fivewordstoruinasermon

8.  Joel Osteen is the greatest #fivewordstoruinasermon

9.  Here is a denominational video #fivewordstoruinasermon

10.  Now, for my vacation pictures #fivewordstoruinasermon


  1. Whew! I may have been guilty of #6 (because I have a minor in bad jokes) and #9 (but not necessarily in those words), and maybe #2 (but only to then undercut Fox style triumphalism). I was really afraid you were just going to use quotes from my sermons!

  2. I got in on the action over on the Twitterverse myself:

    My true vocation is microblogging.

    And here’s one that just came to me for #FiveWordsToRuinASermon: Open your Bibles to Thomas.

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