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COLONEL?

The last two weeks or so this blog has been too serious.  At least, that is what I’ve been told.  That probably has a lot to do with gearing up for Easter.  Which, by the way, we had a great Easter day at our wonderful church—so many great people to celebrate Jesus’ Resurrection with! 

But, now for something completely ridiculous.

Ever since the United States began bombing Libya I’ve been pondering this Gaddafi (or is it Ghadafi, or Khadaffi, or Qadaffi—does anybody really know how to spell his name?)  fellow.  The headlines yesterday were that NATO leaders were now calling for strikes to kill Gaddafi and not restrict themselves to military targets.  When I was a boy I remember this man caused problems back then.  I distinctly recall Ronald Reagan bombing him in the early ‘80s or am I wrong?  No, I’m not wrong.  Did we miss?  I mean, Marty McFly took care of the Libyans with a Delorean in 1985, right?

Is it true that his rank is colonel?  Colonel Gaddafi?  It is not general, or admiral or even field marshal?  Colonel?  That means Colonel Potter from MASH would be equal with Gaddafi?  Who would salute whom if Colonel Gaddafi, Colonel Potter and Colonel Sanders were in a room together?  Gaddafi is a dictator, Potter is a fictional character, and Sanders is dead.  However, Colonel Sanders could fry up some mean fried chicken.  I’ve got money on Sanders.  If those three were in a room together you know that Sanders would start frying up some chicken and those yummy biscuits and mashed potatoes from the by-gone days and Potter would start chomping a stogie and eat some chicken and then take a nap.  Gaddafi would be so charmed by the white suit, black tie, walking stick and white goatee that he would lower all his defenses.  Then he would trade away all of Libya to know what those 11 herbs and spices are in the original recipe. 

This is probably reason number 823 why I’m not president.  Instead of bombs I would try some KFC diplomacy.  If that didn’t work, we’d then try the navy—we’d send in Cap’n Crunch.  The Libyans might be able to resist Colonel Sanders down home goodness and old reruns of MASH, but I don’t think they can withstand the sugary fake breakfasty goodness of Cap’n Crunch.

Of course, this blog post is ridiculous, and I do not mean to make light of a very dangerous situation.  But doesn’t it seem like Gaddafi is like Charlie Sheen.  I just wish he would go away.

5 replies »

  1. I wouldn’t consider him Charlie Sheen, if you remember correctly he took out a whole army and then killed the leader with a bazooka chicken in Hot Shots part Deux. Colonel Sanders would deffenently win though. You can’t resist the Colonel. I watch it go down in my head where the Colonel shows up slaps him with a piece of chicken and leaves. My dad watched MASH while I was growing up and I think if you just drop off that guy that was always wearing womens clothing, after being slapped in the face with a chicken and have a crossdresser show up would just scare them to surrender.If that didn’t work we could always bring in Mr. Rogers he would kill them all and just say would you like to be my neighbor. All in all I still don’t agree with the stuff going on in the world but at least we as Americans have the freedom to say what we like and don’t like. Even though a whole whimsicle make believe story can make us all laugh the seriousness of the situation is that we still have men and women over there fighting for us and most people have forgoten about them. They live there lives and not think about that kind of stuff. I just revert back to my song “Where would we be without Soldiers and Jesus.

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