Greenbean and Twitter: Is It Ridiculous Or Is It News?

I haven’t done this kind of thing in a while, and it is Friday, and I am *gasp* caught up for the first time since November of 2019, so why not.

I’m taking the ‘trending’ line on my Twitter feed this morning (28 August 2020) and making comments — one or two sentences at most.

  1. Rand Paul — Apparently he got lost leaving the Republican convention last night. They are saying he was attacked, but as I look at the video, it seems like it is just people gathering around taking cellphone video of a famous person who apparently turned right when he should have gone left.
  2. Friday thoughts — My Friday thought is I am glad there were bananas this morning to go with my Corn Flakes.
  3. No Ceilings — I think this is a musical reference, but seems like something pilots say.
  4. #IStandWith JKRowling — I know this one. It is about her opposition to trans-people. I’m against no one and want everyone to be free, but I understand her point of view. To be honest, I am surprised more feminists haven’t come out along the same lines as her because transgendered men, though they have rights and should be protected under the law, have not had the same experiences as those who were born female.
  5. Jim Gaffigan — 2020. Broke. Gaffigan. He was cursing on his timeline about politics, and then his wife scolded him on his Twitter timeline for cursing on his Twitter timeline. #familytime.
  6. #FridayFeeling — Friday’s always feel a little mushy to me.
  7. #FridayMotivation — Isn’t Friday its own motivation?
  8. Fridaymorning — See 2, 6, and 7.
  9. I Have A Dream — I often wonder if things wouldn’t be so much better if we had Martin Luther King here with us to speak with moral clarity but also with wisdom.
  10. Emmett Till — A name every black person knows and far too few white people do. His death was sixty-five years ago today. Some things have changed since then, but not enough. Rest In Peace, Emmett.
  11. Bella Thorne — Is this a new adult beverage from Europe? Flavor of Jolly Rancher?
  12. Attacked — I feel attacked whenever Starbucks doesn’t have cream cheese for my bagel.
  13. Captain America — Not what I thought. By the way, I am on Team Tony Stark. But apparently someone threw a ‘shield’ during a protest and hit a police officer in the back of the neck causing injury. The bad people of Twitter seem happy about this, but the good people of Twitter recognize that is awful and uncalled for and whoever did that should be prosecuted.
  14. Apple Music — I remember when iTunes was awesome. That seems like a long time ago.
  15. Good Friday — If you click on this expecting the Stations of the Cross, you’ll be disappointed.
  16. Game Day — I am not certain playing football this fall is a good idea. You can’t ignore a pandemic away.
  17. Anderson Cooper — Macaulay Culkin.
  18. Chelsea Clinton — Trending highly today because people were commenting how tall Barron Trump is. That seems fine to me, because I am jealous of his height and he seems like a good young man and I wish the best for him. But picking on him, like they did Chelsea (Rush Limbaugh famously called her a dog when she was but twelve years old) and Bush’s, and Obama’s daughters is wrong. Kids re apolitical. Leave them out of it. Eric, Don Jr., and Ivanka are fair game because they chose politics, but Barron (and Tiffany) are not.
  19. Tyrone — I scrolled through this to find out what it was about and . . . I still don’t know.
  20. Senator Paul — See 1.
  21. Happy Friyay — How many different ways do people need in order to be excited about Friday? I mean, it seems like Twitter really hates Friday and is trying to talk itself into liking it with all these references, almost as a coping mechanism.
  22. Shinzo Abe — the Prime Minster of Japan is resigning because of bad health. I wonder if the shake-up in power in Japan will stir a move to retake the ‘cool Asian country’ back from South Korean, who has clearly taken the spot once occupied and invented by Japan.
  23. Fatalis — How do you pronounce this? Is it Fatal – Is like “Fatal is dangerous and means it could be deadly” or is it Fata Lis, the name of the eighth Von Trapp child, ‘Friederich and Brigitta, could the two of you watch Fata Lis while we go pick up some schnapps?” or could it be Fat Al Is as in “Fat Al is over there?”
  24. DatPiff — I am beginning to wonder if Twitter has a speech pathology issue.
  25. Jazmine Sullivan — I don’t know who this is, but this is a beautiful name. Like the heroine for a book series. “Jazmine Sullivan stood tall as she fired seven rounds into the chest of her would-be attacker.”
  26. St. Augustine — I find I have quoted St. Augustine more and more of late. Of Course, his most famous quote is, “Lord, make me chaste (sexually pure) but not yet.”
  27. Finally Friday — Again, people. Really? We all know it is Friday. And tomorrow is Saturday.
  28. Hot Pockets — See 5. FWIW, Gaffigan’s bit on Hot Pockets is one of the funniest things in the whole wide word.
  29. Confronted — That look I give the dog when he makes a mess on the floor.

Thanks for playing along. Have a great weekend.

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