Rest assured Greenbean will have the popcorn popped and the Kool-Aid aiding when the debate begins this evening, and he will be live Tweeting it too. Keep in mind that I am not partisan and hold all politicians with an equal amount of contempt. Nevertheless, I have a certain morbid curiosity about the process, politics, and the horse race. I have had this hobby since I was a child.

I’ve divided my speculation in three categories: What I absolutely expect, what would not surprise me, and what could happen but probably will not.

What I Absolutely Expect

1. The Real Donald J will not attack Clinton directly in the first half hour, but he will make an attack on the moderator, Lester Holt.
2. HRC will attack The Real Donald J for his immigration stance, and she will contrast his view with Ronald Reagan’s leniency toward immigrants.
3. HRC will wear blue.
4. The Real Donald J will drop at least one, if not two, swear words, both in the last half hour.
5. In the last fifteen minutes, when The Real Donald J has forgotten the strategy his advisors have laid out, he will attack HRC directly. Maybe on her health, but also maybe on WJC.
6. The Real Donald J will say “Believe me” more than twenty times.
7. HRC will not pull closer to President Obama in her language, but instead will speak where her policies are more aligned with some famous republicans, because her target is republicans who don’t like The Real Donald J.

What Would Not Surprise Me

1. HRC attacks first, and in her opening remarks comes right out and says that The Real Donald J is not fit or qualified to be POTUS. She probably will reference other republicans in doing so.
2. Lester Holt will ask some kind of question about white supremacists and The Real Donald J’s use of bait language and code words. The Real Donald J will dismiss it as irrelevant and “The people don’t care about that, believe me.”
3. Someone will heckle. It might even be a #BLM protester. It could be a Benghazi protester. I don’t know if it will come from the left, or right, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
4. The Real Donald J will be asked about Putin, and he will not back down from his bromance.
5. HRC will be asked about TPP, and she will come close to a John Kerry, “I was against it before I was for it” kind of moment.
6. The shootings recently in Tulsa and Charlotte will be mentioned. HRC will not have any answers, The Real Donald J will blame Obama.

What Could Happen But Probably Will Not

1. HRC does a few jumping jacks or push ups to show that she is healthy.
2. The Real Donald J announces that he is actually dropping out of the race.
3. Lester Holt asks HRC about her speaking fees and the transcripts.
4. Lester Holt cites a lawyer and maybe law and calls out The Real Donald J and his refusal to release his tax records.
5. The Real Donald J actually calls HRC insulting names the way he has attacked other women in the past (This will happen he last fifteen minutes).
6. WJC rushes the stage and challenges The Real Donald J to a duel, ala Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.

Winners and losers are always hard to call, because people see what they want to see. I feel like, though, HRC will have a better night because of her experience in these types of debates. Trump will have a hard time speaking substantively and staying on topic for that long.