The blending of two different ideas into one new thing is a beneficial practice. In the food world it gives us cherry Coke, bacon cheeseburgers, and peanut butter and banana sandwiches. In politics it gives us the occasional pro-life democrat or environmentally conscience republican. In church it gives us evangelistic Calvinists.
In keeping with that concept, today I am blending two different things. One is the odd and meaningless fascination with the fact that today is 12-12-12. So what! I might be a little more impressed if it was 12-12-1212, as in 1000 years ago but come on guys and girls you know that the dating system is so flawed it is very inaccurate.
But, it matters to some people. But what I want to do is combine this with the equally meaningless and mind-numbing preoccupation of far too many folks with the Mayan doomsday clock that is supposed to chime on December 21. Notice how December 21 is a complete anagram–12-21. Then you put 12 on the end and it is an anagram of an anagram backwards upside down. Okay, that might not be completely accurate. But at 11:34 some digital clocks look like the word “hell” if you turn them upside down. I know right! But it makes the same amount of sense as the Mayans.
I put these two ideas together into the blender called my mind and present to you:
12 Reasons Why The Mayan’s Were (and still are) Wrong
About the End of the World
12. My birthday is December 29. The world can’t end until I know what Mrs. Greenbean got me.
11. Jesus’ birthday is celebrated on December 25, and if I feel the way I do about my birthday (#12), I know he must have some sympathy.
10. The Mayans were defeated by a conquering force with superior power. If they were so good at predicting the future, why didn’t they see that coming?
9. Jesus doesn’t even know when the world will end, and I’m supposed to believe that the Mayans did?
8. If you read the information correctly, the Mayans don’t predict the end of the world anyway. They were marking the stars and their movements through periods of time. This year is as far as they got before their civilization came to ruin (#10).
7. With the exception of North Korea launching rockets, It seems like the world is pretty normal, with only 9 days left to go.
6. It will be fun to watch the President and the Congress blame each other for what happens around the whole fiscal cliff thing. If the world ends, then we will miss that drama.
5. We have an awesome Christmas Eve service planned.
4. The end of Twinkies does not qualify as the end of the world, no matter how heart-rending it might be.
3. The world can’t end if I don’t have the entire James Bond film collection and Skyfall has yet to be released to DVD/Bluray. So there is that.
2. December 21 is a Friday. Everyone knows the world will end on a Monday.
1. People who predict the end of the world–whether loons in California, Medieval mystics, or human sacrificing demon worshipers from the ancient Central American past–are, always, 100% of the time, wrong.
9 responses to “12-12-12 MAYAN APOCALYPSE BEATDOWN”
“12-12-1212, as in 1000 years ago “? What about 800 years ago?
oh, you’re so silly. i’m writing hyperbolic here.
Twinkies aren’t gone, once the proceedings concerning all product lines and brands being sold off are concluded they will be back. Canada still has a license to sell them as well.
i don’t want to have to go to b.c. to get a ding dong.
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