In light of recent headlines, I think it is time for Pastor Greenbean to bring some calm reassurance to the people of the world.  There will be no so-called “rapture” this Saturday.  In case you’d like to bet me on that, you should know I’m going all in:  house, cars, bank accounts, library and stunning wardrobe.   

Apparently some loon radio station guy is predicting  that the rapture will happen on Saturday.  Let’s put aside what I consider the questionable theology of “rapture” and just examine the logic of the claim from a foundational biblical perspective.  Jesus himself admits in the gospels that he doesn’t know much about the times and dates of the end.  If Jesus doesn’t know, I’m pretty sure the radio doesn’t either.  Taking logic to the next level it would seem these loons are more influenced by current pagan/heathen/media driven 2012 doomsday predictions rather than anything biblical.  Not to mention (oops, I guess I am mentioning it) history is replete with groups that have been wrong, including Camping himself.  A little research indicates that this man is false teacher.    

The way I understand it this group of loons are saying the corollary event, the end of the world, is occurring this October.  Now, unless there are using “end of the world” as a metaphor for a prediction that the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series in October then their timeline is terribly incorrect.  If you believe in a “rapture” (let the reader understand) then the end of the world will take at least 3.5 years to happen, not 5 months.  So these loons at the radio station are terrible theologians and bad mathematicians to boot.  They should never be trusted by anyone ever again.

As an aside, I wish the media would stop calling this guy a Bible expert.  He is not.  He is a loon.  I can only imagine how the early church fathers would have dealt with him.  Can you see it now—Augustine’s “Contra Camping” or Athanasius “Camping est Hominen Stupidem.”  I am so sure the first thing they would have done would be to anathematize him!

Rest assured, the world will not end in October of this year or 2012.  Predicting it almost guarantees it will not happen.  Read your Bible people!

In addition to these sound reasons, I have at least six other personal reasons why I am rather convinced the “rapture” will not occur this Saturday.

            1.  By Saturday I’ve ironed out all the kinks in Sunday’s upcoming sermon.  It would be just cruel to have worked so hard to get it ready and then not get to preach it.  Plus, this weeks sermon is awesome!

            2.  I’ve got a great vacation planned this summer.  It would be nice if God would wait until maybe the bills come in from my great vacation.

            3.  My new study the church built for me last year is barely broken in.  It would be just cruel to vacate it now.

            4.  This loon said the same thing in 1994.

            5.  The New Harry Potter movie hasn’t come out yet and my girls would be very upset if they didn’t get to see how it plays on the big screen.

            6.  This idea came out of California. California!

23 Comments

  1. If I cannot be upset that my pets won’t be with me in heaven, you can’t be upset about leaving your study too early.

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  2. … And I haven’t released my sequel yet! Neither have you! People are waiting for our brilliant words, Jamie!

    I love your comment “predicting it almost guarantees it won’t happen.” Maybe that’s why there are so many who predict… 🙂

    Amy

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    1. exactly! you and i must be the ones to displace politicians and celebrities as ‘new york times bestselling authors’ and put those slots where they really belong: in the hands of writers! there is too much work to be done to leave now. seriously, though, thanks for the encouragement.

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  3. First let me say I agree. That said, there was a man in the bible that was promised that he would see the Messiah before he passed on to the next life. Who is to say that this cannot occur again? Sometime, in someone’s generation, now or then, will be right, but he/she will have to have the character of ENOCH to be “in” on His timing.

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    1. i agree very much with your premise that God sometimes brings people with a certain ‘foot in two worlds’ perspective. my major argument here is that it is not this guy. the scriptures are quite clear on the work of prophecy–if you are ever wrong in your predictions then you are not from God. well, this guy has a very bad track record and he is a heretic. for me, that is enough to disqualify him from any authority on the issue.
      let me also add that whenever God brings this whole thing to an end it will almost absolutely be in a way no one expected yet fulfills all the prophetic words of scripture. that’s just how God works–because that is how he did it the first time.

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  4. all so in the bible it says no one will know the time or date or era not even the son or the angels. i really hope people dont hurt themselves over this. this is ridiculas

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    1. terina,
      thanks for reading and commenting.
      i agree with you so much. often i write with a tongue-in-cheek tone, but it would be tragic for people to be hurt because they put their faith in someone who claims something not even Jesus would predict (Matthew 24:36).

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