I am so far behind–digitally that is–because of Christmassssssy stuff.  I have neglected my Twitter, Facebook, and blog far too much.  Sadly, it will likely not get much better until after the new year.  However, today I share three interesting things.

Thing One–Mars

Yesterday it was reported that scientists discovered methane on Mars using the rover Curiosity.  Methane is flatulence.  Today it is reported that the same rover also drilled a hole in the ground and found ancient water.  This water is reported to be heavier than earth water.  Heavy water–wouldn’t that be one way of describing beer?  Great–we find life on Mars and it turns out that it is a smelly bar!

In all seriousness, these are both very exciting finds that may prove life exists or existed on Mars.  For my regular readers, you’ll remember I predicted we would discover life on Mars this year.  What I didn’t know is that we would find a drunk old man asking the rover to ‘pull my finger.’

Thing Two–Mom, Why does this candy taste funny?

This morning while eating my oatmeal and biscuit I read what might be the strangest sentence I’ve read in a newspaper (Austin American-Statesman) in a while.  Here it is:

New York real estate heir Robert Durst has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief for exposing himself and urinating on candy at a Houston drug store.

Apparently he didn’t think much of the warheads, so he gave them his own nuclear option, huh?  I suppose it is the store’s fault for not putting up a sign that says “DO NOT WET CANDY.”  Weird, huh.  Apparently this guy is the son of a the man who invented the National Debt Clock.  You want it weirder?  The article went on to say that this son was acquitted of homicide charges ten years ago in Galveston.  Apparently he killed his neighbor, but he didn’t just kill him.  According to the article, he dismembered him.  He said it was self defense.

How did he get off?  Really?  I can see shooting someone, stabbing someone, throwing someone down hard in self defense.  What I can’t see is how do you dismember someone in self defense?  Truth is stranger than fiction.

Thing Three–Darth Vader versus Elf on the Shelf

A friend sent this to me.  I’m still laughing.