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Mrs. Greenbean got her weekly dose of culture today.  People Magazine arrived.  As she nibbled her lunch, she read off to me the list of Top Ten television shows, according to People Magazine.  I asked her whether Chopped was #1 or #2 and she told me it wasn’t on the list.  How could that be?  Alas, none of my favorites were on there.

We do not watch any of them, so I don’t know what the shows are really about.  As she read the titles, though, I imagined what they might be about.  Here they are, with my imaginary descriptions.–

10.  The Returned–A riveting drama about postal carriers who specialize in handling packages that have been “Returned”

9.  Brooklyn Nine-Nine–A hapless Brooklyn baseball team struggles to find its identity, and to add a 10th player to the roster.

8.  Orange is the New Black–In Milan, a daring young designer makes interesting choices about men’s fashion.

7.  Behind the Candelabra–Phantom of the Opera, Part Two.

6.  Hannibal–Period piece about the African General Hannibal and his assault on the Roman Republic.

5.  The Good Wife–Mormon’s are becoming mainstream, and given new polygamy laws, this show is ripe for a big audience.  A Utah man tries to help his one Good Wife teach the other two how to best serve him and earn eternal life for herself.

4.  Breaking Bad–Docudrama about washed up street dancers from the 1980s.

3.  Masters of Sex–Geneticists race against time to add more males to the population because of the high number of young men who trip ove their own sagging britches and unwittingly kill themselves.

2.  Broadchurch–Griping drama about a Southern church struggling to get its weight under control.

1.  The Americans–Finally, a drama about Native Americans, set before 1492, and their plights to life on the high plains.

I guess I might try to find out what these shows really are about.  I wonder which one of them you like?

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